Nas: Definitely an Astute Media Critic. But Gangsta?

Both my blog partner and I are big fans of the beautiful music called "hip hop." We agree that Old Dirty Bastard was a singular American stylist, and that "Fuck the Police" by NWA is an appropriate soundtrack for any occasion. We have diverging opinions about some things, like whether Notorious B.I.G. was the best rapper ever (I'm for, Will's against) and other topics.

This morning, a new division arose, with the question of whether Nas, of Ill-matic fame, is a gangsta rapper. I told Will about Nas's new song, "Sly Fox," which in addition to being a thumping jam, is a broadswipe at the Rupert Murdoch owned Fox Broadcasting Company. (Nas's beef stems from a Fox News broadcast critizing the inclusion of Nas, who Fox claims glorifies violence, at a free concert at Virginia Tech following last year's shooting).

Message-wise, the song is a little muddled. Nas calls Fox hypocritical for criticizing his so-called violent lyrics, and suggests that Fox is hypocritical because they create their own lurid and violent entertainment. That's all true, but he fucks up his argument by citing examples that have nothing to do with Fox, namely Kill Bill and Grindhouse. Those films were produced, respectively, through Miramax and the Weinstein company, neither of which were ever affiliated with Fox or Rupert Murdoch, as far as I can tell. And while Nas is long on specifics about how Fox has done him wrong personally, he's frustratingly vague about what Fox is doing wrong in general. Yesterday, Nas took part in a protest of Fox where people accused the 24-hour news channel of race-baiting and Obama-smearing. I don't think those gripes are mentioned in the song.

But I guess I shouldn't expect Noam Chomsky-like astuteness of media criticism from a rapper, no matter how astute of a wordsmith.

As I told Will this morning, I think Fox inaccurately portrays Nas as a Gangsta rapper when he's really just rapping about honest observations about his urban experience. Will contends that he is a gangsta rapper, saying that because Nas is not a rapper in the mode of Common, Mos Def or Talib Kweli, and uses violent imagery, he is therefore a gangsta rapper.

This afternoon, I asked Nas if he could answer this question, and he got into a time machine, and appeared on the Colbert Report last night (looking more than a little stoned, I think) he weighed in at about the 3:06 mark here.

Disturbing Inquisitions

So, not more than two minutes ago, Will asked me if it would be possible for Derek Jeter to perform the sexual act known colloquially as "the shocker" on a dude. I said no, that the act requires the participation of a lady.

I'd recommend our prim, church-going readers who may be unaware of what a "shocker" either check out this or this. Oh, no, wait. I'm sorry. I'd recommend our readers NOT do that.

Why would Will need to know such a thing? He claims there's a perfectly good explanation, and it's on the beat bike blog. I'm calling bullshit on that, even though it gave me a chance to throw in a site link. I think the real explanation is that it's way too hot outside for anybody to think rationally.

Even Will, who's no jive turkey.

Gutters and Strikes

OK, so I whiffed on the riddle. Big deal. I'm a smart guy. People value my opinion. I'm no dummy. I can do long division in my head. I can recite the Magna Carta (OK, not really, but I can totally make a pun on it about japanese comic books, and call it the manga carta).

Anyways, Will and I just got back from the great Polish National Home in downtown Hartford. The food, as always, was delicious. I got the usual; a polish plate (kielbasa, sauerkraut, perogis) plus two extra perogis. The only issue I have is how much of a bonehead food coma I've been in all afternoon.

Which is another way of saying I'm refusing to work on the riddle again today.